Has the disposable nature of modernity translated into how we relate romantically?
There I was tossing and turning in bed, trying to fall asleep despite my aching back. I could not help but to think back to the few men that have crossed my path in recent months... Suddenly I was thinking Kleenex... In case you were wondering; NO, (unfortunately?) I was not crying...
How does a (wo)man resemble a box of tissue? It may sound like a terribly detached comparison but it all fairness it is an honest question.
A tissue is a very useful little invention. It’s cheap, easy to carry in case of emergencies and disposable (carbon and other environmental considerations aside).
Granted I am not buying men (I don’t believe in stooping into those lowlands –why pay for something you can get for free?) nor do I carry them around in my handbag. But my recent experience has suddenly seen me pick one up and dispose of it shortly thereafter in a drama-free setting. That is the story told from my point of view but it applies from his too, since I presume guys dispose of me just as I dispose of them. But that has got me wondering…
Am I just another example of a libertine and morally bankrupt society? Am I just being pragmatic and approaching my biological needs following a utilitarian model? Have I become so self-involved that I seek only hedonistic pleasures; carefree philandering happily lacking in time commitment demands? Is it a means to cope with the absence of decent dating prospects? Or am I going from one fleeting moment to the next having lost the capacity for intimacy?
My mother would argue disapprovingly that indeed we are living in times of a bankrupt culture deprived of any kind of moral grounding.
I rather not explore that option as I remain conflicted by an imposed religious upbringing and a learned desire to be rational (and hopefully reasonable)... Maybe one day I will ponder further on reason and faith…
The following two alternatives seem pertinent…
In the fast paced world of cosmopolitan and hectic cities, romantic relationships are far from easy to initiate. After all, we tend to be first and foremost, focused on OUR career and its prospects.
Yet some biological needs remain (or not) latent. Pragmatism dictates these are satisfied so... Girl meets boy (or vice versa). They chat whilst having a few drinks that end up becoming more drinks elsewhere. They may even “hook up” for the night. So what happens next?
If biological needs cannot be avoided then it is also pragmatic to make the most of them, which is where hedonism would come in! In the end, the hap hazardous meeting could results in a number of different situations. It could end up been a one night stand. [Done.] Or maybe a series of amorous encounters without future but serving the purpose of releasing some tension under the sheets (or somewhere else)! [Done.] It may turn into a casual acquaintance who feels entitled to ask for advice on the new person they are seeing. [Done.] Who knows, maybe in some cases it actually evolves into a relationship… This last has not been my experience…[yet!]
This brings me to this time issue… maybe I am more self-centred that I care to admit to myself. I do often joke about “franworld”! But I don’t think I am particularly selfish with my time. Although I do like to plan there is always room for improvisation, even if after a brief time I realise nothing will come of it.
True seldom does “a stranger you bump into” (no pun intended) transcends beyond anything other than a self-gratification incident… there is no harm done in being a bit adventurous and taking the scenic view, provided you take the necessary safety precautions.
Since the journey we call life comes to an end for us all at a destination we are not privy to, so it seems reasonable to make the most of the path which we progressively uncovers before us as we go!
I don’t mind the tissue metaphor; the nifty invention that is the tissue also serves other purposes…
- To clean up a spill that provides the opportunity for two hand to touch and a spark to ignite.
- Or maybe it could serve to hold a flower; souvenir of a sunny day at the park.
- Or perhaps to dry the blood from a bruise resulting from a failed attempt to cause a good impression…
- Who knows if you are lucky, it will dry some tears!
There will be times where you are doing the disposal; other times it is the other way around. That is the way Life goes and there’s nothing left to do but live, and learn embracing the tears and cherishing the smiles
