'De-Nial' is a river in Egypt

For as long as men are men and women women, humanity has given into lusty affairs… let’s face it there is nothing wrong with seeking and finding pleasure. It is definitely! But have the busy lives we lead today rendered this search for pleasure a empty automation?

At some point, perhaps not so long ago, we had to put some degree of constant effort in obtaining the favours of the opposite sex. The courting game was fairly well codified. Constancy was a determining factor… Now we tend to cut to the chase, albeit with mixed objectives and mixed results!

But where are we at today? Between the fast paced lives we lead, to the hedonistic, self-centred, utilitarian take on carnal encounters romance tends to be the exception rather than the norm. Are we just too tired after our demanding jobs to make time during the week? Do we find ourselves struggling to make room on weekends too: just too many house chores and errands to run? Are romance and wooing more apt as subjects of anthropological studies of practices no longer valid? Of late, I’ve come to wonder…

This year, my love life has taken the shape of an ancient piece jewellery found in some archaeological site. A string of often irregular, at times memorable but definitely inconstant “beads” strung along. No records of what the object meant to its owner, as such it is only as a memento of times past; meaningless if not for its historical value! The question is, should I continue to collect meaningless beads to add to my necklace until I come across a meaningful one? Can this even be done?

In a buzzing city like London filled with workaholics (among other types of –holics), where schedules tend to conflict and transport can sometimes become a logistical nightmare, who would have the stamina at the end of the week to pursue love?

Lust is the second best thing to the real thing I guess... And while there is nothing wrong with some weekend gratification, when does it become just another part of the routine along with ‘doing laundry, tidying up, ironing and grocery shopping’? Something you squeeze in, because it has to get done! That is, unless in a brief moment of clarity, you click enough with someone and consider taking it beyond the usual frolicking.

But can romance be revived then? Or are attempts to do so just wishful thinking? How determined would one have to be? Before we snap out of clarity of reverie and back into the routine that is reality? How long before the attempt becomes one more bead in the necklace? More worryingly yet; at what point do we opt to collect more beads lest a quietened mind be plagued with self-doubt and existentialism?

I am hitting 30 and I have more questions in my head and than definite (or even sufficiently reassuring) answers... Such is the conclusion -if you can call it that - I reach in my moments of clarity. I wish I could maintain the reverie for a bit longer alas 'tis no only fall on me! You need two to tango. In the end I guess I can make bead necklaces. There is no harm done if both parties are explicitly honest and open about their intentions… Such is the Zeitgeist of the 21^st century!