Le Roi est mort. Vive le Roi...

Why does the death of one person seem to create so much hysteria?

All this drama, all this crying… In a world of 6bn+, how many people die a day? Do you imagine putting this kind of show every time someone died? We’d be wasting our lives in mourning…

At risk of sounding insensitive what relationship are these people regretting? The person they more than likely never really personally met or knew. The music will remain (timeless?) to reminisce and to introduce to new generations.

The remnants of any political engagement in me would like to see such displays of empathy and regret when it comes to the plight of so many suffering painful and miserable existences around the world… there are millions out there that were not as lucky as to live in Neverland and succeed in squandering millions in eccentricities…

Then but lets not make it political… what about all the failed relationships around us? Are our lives that empty and devoid of meaning that we feel bonds were there are none?

For a bond to exist you need at least two parties to feel uniquely and intimately connected. Thousands are crying over a guy they did not knew… they may have felt uniquely connected to him but how could he ever reciprocate?

Why do they put so much effort in deluding themselves? Could it be because it is easier to pretend to have a bond with some distant character? Never requiring comforting but readily providing “solace”. Allowing us to indulge in self-gratifying relationship to ourselves?

It is indeed much simpler than relating to “real” people, whose needs must be acknowledged and measured on the same standing as ours…

Then again maybe I am being over optimistic thinking people are just selfish…

Maybe the emptiness is a sign of how vacillating we are… capable of fierce scorn one minute, and inconsolable sorrow the next…

As you may have guessed I am not particularly touched by the death of the 'King of Pop'. I am not particularly sensitive to his legacy, after all I was never really an MTV child… but I will give you this: it is all about entertainment!

The mob is fickle... Roman emperors knew it and they gave people the Colosseum.

The King may be dead but soon another will be found to fill his place and the crying will subside… Long live the King… the mob will have another surrogate through which to live…

Continuity is after all very important; 'monarchs' they come and go… life is a big irony!

Merteuil vs Valmont

The other day I was reading an article in Wikipedia and I was appalled!

What is the difference between Valmont and Madame de Merteuil? Technically, there is none, socially now, that is a different story...

The article named Casanova, Don Juan, Lothario as examples of promiscuous men. When I scrolled down to look for similar female counter parts all I found were generic terms: “slut”, "slag", "trollop", "skank", and "ho"… Why is it that more often than not, promiscuous men tend to go down in history (or literature) as legends while women become fallen beings banish to a nameless oblivion? And no I am not over-reacting!

The negative (social, moral) connotation of promiscuity aside, trying to find some information that would render women a place on equal footing with men was all but straight forward. Actually, I am still in the midst of looking. What little I've found tends to come from a feminist standpoint, a view which is not always a accepted as objective by some people...

In a recent email to a friend I outline my approach to the dating scene (not talking love here that's another story):

"Opportunistic about spotting prospects until the due diligence has been completed and an exclusivity agreement has been signed". (Much like it happens in M&A)

If a man were to take the approach it would be considered pragmatic (business-like even) would it be the same for a woman or would she more likely be categorised as “conniving, cold and calculating”?

The devil is in the detail... The attitude is definitely pragmatic, cold and calculating… as for being conniving its not really a gender-specific quality!

It would be like saying that guys aren’t shattered by a cheating partner.

From trying to numb the pain by pointing out how wrong she was for him anyways, to wallowing in self pity, to walking the corridors moping at their bad luck and the decided evilness of the girl, to denial… Sounds familiar? Maybe because those are some of the ways in which women can also react!

Why the double standards, could someone care to enlighten me? Not that you've asked me but I think the -izer ending is as applicable to 'man' than to 'woman'!

The Ides of June

It is highly unlikely for a soothsayer to bear me bad news. For starters it is not like I am a menace to the republic; I govern only in my world!

But lets for a moment consider, for the sake of creative freedom that the wheels of radical change have been set in motion in recent months…

For one I think I am finally learning to fully let go… and be spontaneous about my plans… Now before anyone says that I am still “RETENTIVE” when it comes to planning let me say in my defence that I do that in order to avoid falling into a monotonous routine and neglect my friends! With that out of the way… Spontaneity… very important indeed or it could be that I am still riding the high from this weekend… I was definitely not expecting for Yann’s Saturday bday brunch to turn out to be a weekend outing!

It was also a good weekend to consider how gender roles work… Have you ever thought like a man, felt like a woman or vice-versa?

I love bread. There is something comforting about the smell of warm bread coming out of the oven… and yet I quit bread… For the most part; I eat it socially! Much to my surprise I am not the only one! During a recent breakfast lunch a couple of guys and I started talking and they pretty much concurred! And that is not all… they’ve opted for less caloric drinks… Bye bye beer. Gin tonic anyone?

Who would have thought straight guys would swear off bear for the sake of their physique? Men are vain just as much as women can be… granted not all of them but then not all women are vain either! Following the same line of argumentation women can be as lusty and avidly enthusiastic about casual sex as men…

Doubtfully this is an original line of thinking, nor is it inspired by the ‘metrosexuals’ in my life. In fact most of my friends still associate the noun with “girliness” to ever consider that an adjective that describes them.
Two points to make on this subject. First that it is biased if not unfair to negate men (those who want to exercise it) the right to a bit of grooming… Second, given the amount of time and effort most of us women put into looking good, is it not only natural that men reciprocate? There is NOTHING wrong with exfoliating!
Truth be, told the Venus-Mars dichotomy was never really my cup of tea!

But I digress, if men can “feel like women” about their bodies and women can “think like men” about sex like men, then maybe we are not so different from each other in the end?

Recently I’ve found myself liking this guy… quite a bit actually which is perhaps unwise given that we met went straight into an alcohol induced horizontal mode…
I don’t know that it’s that he is one of the few guys I know to admit liking ABBA or that he impressed me with an incredible well executed and cooked four-course dinner – which resulted in me having performance anxiety when it was my turn to cook! Then there is the fact that he can keep up and takes the initiative in the morning... very important indeed!

In any case, I just cancelled brunch with a girlfriend which is not something I do. But if he picked up the cue to we should perhaps “diversify our portfolio to include non-horizontal activities and spread the risk”… then I don't see why I would be difficult about it!

Dionysos sponsored the Ides of May which have brought about some (at least initially) welcomed news these Ides of June… Let's just hope there is no Brutus in the picture!

Another night out...

Tonight is one of those nights where things went all right BUT they could have gone better... A night of NARROWLY missed encounters...

Five minutes here, a drunken friend and the labyrinth that can be the London underground... granted there may have been some degree of substance induced intoxication!

To think that I could have enjoyed the thrill of the anticipation brought on by an illicit rendez-vous. The taunting in the foreplay and finally after some frolicking the insurmountable extasy that comes from the explosion of my senses... so intense that it would obliterate everything; even reason would surrender to pleasure...

True on the odd day I have some socially dictated reservation...

That being said I am almost convinced that the more hedonistic side will have the last say! In the end life is too short, recession omnipresent, death and taxes inevitable! And that "explosion" so desirable... the choice albeit controversial by some standards, not really tough to make!

'De-Nial' is a river in Egypt

For as long as men are men and women women, humanity has given into lusty affairs… let’s face it there is nothing wrong with seeking and finding pleasure. It is definitely! But have the busy lives we lead today rendered this search for pleasure a empty automation?

At some point, perhaps not so long ago, we had to put some degree of constant effort in obtaining the favours of the opposite sex. The courting game was fairly well codified. Constancy was a determining factor… Now we tend to cut to the chase, albeit with mixed objectives and mixed results!

But where are we at today? Between the fast paced lives we lead, to the hedonistic, self-centred, utilitarian take on carnal encounters romance tends to be the exception rather than the norm. Are we just too tired after our demanding jobs to make time during the week? Do we find ourselves struggling to make room on weekends too: just too many house chores and errands to run? Are romance and wooing more apt as subjects of anthropological studies of practices no longer valid? Of late, I’ve come to wonder…

This year, my love life has taken the shape of an ancient piece jewellery found in some archaeological site. A string of often irregular, at times memorable but definitely inconstant “beads” strung along. No records of what the object meant to its owner, as such it is only as a memento of times past; meaningless if not for its historical value! The question is, should I continue to collect meaningless beads to add to my necklace until I come across a meaningful one? Can this even be done?

In a buzzing city like London filled with workaholics (among other types of –holics), where schedules tend to conflict and transport can sometimes become a logistical nightmare, who would have the stamina at the end of the week to pursue love?

Lust is the second best thing to the real thing I guess... And while there is nothing wrong with some weekend gratification, when does it become just another part of the routine along with ‘doing laundry, tidying up, ironing and grocery shopping’? Something you squeeze in, because it has to get done! That is, unless in a brief moment of clarity, you click enough with someone and consider taking it beyond the usual frolicking.

But can romance be revived then? Or are attempts to do so just wishful thinking? How determined would one have to be? Before we snap out of clarity of reverie and back into the routine that is reality? How long before the attempt becomes one more bead in the necklace? More worryingly yet; at what point do we opt to collect more beads lest a quietened mind be plagued with self-doubt and existentialism?

I am hitting 30 and I have more questions in my head and than definite (or even sufficiently reassuring) answers... Such is the conclusion -if you can call it that - I reach in my moments of clarity. I wish I could maintain the reverie for a bit longer alas 'tis no only fall on me! You need two to tango. In the end I guess I can make bead necklaces. There is no harm done if both parties are explicitly honest and open about their intentions… Such is the Zeitgeist of the 21^st century!

“There is optimism and there is delusion…”

That is how Frankie has recently expressed his discontentment with the Brown government and the current state of British politics… Should Gordon throw the towel? Many think he should! But where should one draw the line and give up the fight? In the end, the world belongs to those who fight for what they believe in/is theirs!

This same matter of fact attitude is the one I am trying to embrace…

My life is not undergoing some en masse expression of non-confidence. I am simply approaching the often dreaded 3-0! Trying to embrace all that comes my way, “good” and “not so good”. At times even experiencing things a bit later than most, but with a clearer idea of what I (think) want to get out of it…. Then again, it could be the delusion striking!

But why dread the passage of time? The years pass to the rhythm of friends made… I met Nicolas when I was 8 and I must admit a crush which lasted for quite some time. Carolina entered my life when I was 13 and although there was a estrangement that lasted the better part of 10 years I can now attribute that to the impetuous and rash nature of adolescence. Julien and I met in a physics lab when we were 13… both of us with spectacles larger than our phases! ‘Loulou’ and ‘Tchoutchou’ are like the sisters I never had, although we only met during our last year of high school –over 12 years ago! More recently, there’s been Paul and Felicity whom I met during my MA – gosh that was five years ago already! Then there’s Julie, who made the Greenpeace experience interesting and enjoyable! Angie and Domitille are part of what has made the second London experience worthwhile! And how would I pass my work days without Frankie to amuse me? Although I am sure he’d say o am the one doing the amusing!

You can see why I cannot see 30 as a dreaded burden imposed on me? More like a treasure chest that keeps growing... I guess it comes down to a matter of perspective!

So, I feel I am finally coming of age… ok I may be 30 is not a common age to come of age but somethings you can't rush: all things come in good time!

All I can say is that I feel enthused about life! First 29 years and 9 months have been sweet! Why would it change? …

I feel so free that there are days where I wonder if I am not deluding myself. Maybe it has not hit me yet… I guess we’ll see in three months time! I can still pretend I am a sail boat anchoring at a port for a while before the next great adventure comes along… it may be a year or so before the winds effectively pick up! And why not try to conquer myself and discover the world?