Nature giveth and nature taketh

Some men seem to grow more appreciative of assertive, modern women, but is this an awakening of new found wisdom or an attempt to compensate for skills nature may have taken away?

I got to admit Silver Surfer's has been quite a gentleman... He has not rushed anything, managed to hold back any impulses he may have had (at least until recently), and his ego has so far not gotten on the way... So far so good! Now when it comes to "the moves" you be the judge:

To set the mood, open a bottle of red, shortly followed by a 'let me show you the view from over here' as he dims the lights to 'better appreciate the view' while rubbing my neck and suddenly facing me to kiss me...

I guess the scene/mood can be said to be romantic... Perhaps unknown to him is the fact that I had made up my mind a while back. I knew how far things would go (at least physically), it was all a matter of 'when'... So he gets high marks for his mise en scene...

Give to Ceasar what is Ceasar's...

As for what motivated me to make that decision? There were a couple of measures of attraction, one of curiosity, a tablespoon of vanity and maybe even , a few of curiosity... I venture to wonder if this last was not laced with some morbidity -after all I'd like to find out if he can deliver "the goods"!
So we made out and kissing-wise at least, his technique improved. We also fooled around (if you'd asked me about this possibility nine months ago I would have laughed at you in disbelief) but I can't ascertain to the adequacy of his performance in complimentary departments just yet! Maybe his prolonged route to 'enamour' me is nothing more than the fear of his 'youth' taken away... Maybe he has to find ways to make up for it...

If only I allowed myself the reverie of romance;
If only I embraced the uncertainty,;
the freedom -dare I say lightness-
that comes from letting go...

In the midst of all this something did come up (and no, THAT is NOT what I am talking about). I don't know if I've picked because I've developed a liking for the Surfer but his admitted fear of "commitment" may have resulted in a sudden decision (considered but not yet taken) to opt for emotional detachment... Maybe it was the justification I was looking for all along... one that I have fed him and successfully manufactured! A clarification will be sought...

If only I could quieten my mind;
If I could stop it seeking answers and creating patterns.

Suddenly I find myself sitting on the fence...

I know where cynicism will lead me: I'll 'indulge' until I am bored - and I have been known to have a short attention span. But I would just be absconding life. I can otherwise opt let down my guard fully confident that whatever happens I have what it takes to make the best of it! I'll be Cartesian about it and suspend my judgement

"Let us suppose, then, that we are dreaming..."